not this month ..... or is it ?

well my period was due yesterday so I tested and got a big fat negative .. the dissapointment is huge this month I really thought it would work but it hasn't .

but saying that My period is now officialy late so I don't know maybe it was just too early for the cheap boots tests i bought. I'm testing again tomorrow if nothing changes I am not expecting a positive I am getting used to the fact that my body is doing everything it can to piss me off at the moment , not just screwy cycles but spots , my dermititis has flared up again , I have a huge spot in my ear that I can't have antibiotics for incase I'm pregnant , and I am knackered from not sleeping becasue my ear hurts .

yes I am whining like nobodys business but if I do it here at least It's out of my system and I don't have to bother any of my real life freinds with it .

so off i go to wait some more

all i seem to do is pee on sticks !

ok so a little in the life of a surrogate , first tyou haev to pee on a stick to find out when you are ovulating , if you have a slightly obsesive IP then this can be upto three times a day as you wouln't want to miss it , over the course of a week its a lot of peeing on sticks .

Then I obsess for a week at least about ot testing too early and now here i am contemplating doing a pregancy test tomorrow , just for the heck of it , incase its positive and i can surprise S & E . and i wouldn't normally test this early but E bought a pg test ready last time she visited doesn't she know thats just too much temptation for a surrogate.

So here we ho again another week of peeing on sticks is about to begin because you just know if its a negative it will be because i tested to early and if its a postive i will have to test at leat 5 more times to make sure . I swear i will start dreaming abut peeing on sticks soon , someone take them away !!!!

eww eww and more eww

well Its insem time again and part of my new approach was to try it the old fashioned way witha pot and syringe rather than with the instead cup. well this bit gets a bit graphic so if you don't want to read skip this and i'll make it clear when it's safe to look again.


see with an instead cup the semen is in the little cup and you just pop it in , nothing complicated or too icky however with apot and syringe you actually have to suck the semen into the syringe and inject it to the right place ( you all know where i mean and if you don't you shouldn't be reading this so stop) now this was very icky , call me nieve or stupid if you like but with the instead cup i don't is or where its going and with the syring it is most definatly not the case It felt much too intimate to be comfortable with and to be honest layng on my bed with pillows under my bum for 30 minutes was too much like trying to get pregnant the old fashioned way for my liking.




OK LOOK NOW

so needless to say we will be returning to the instead cup for all future insems .

on a lighter note I am really feeling for S at the moment having to juggle the demands of his work and his wife and having to put surrogacy into the mix he's a man under a lot of presure , still its all good preperation for fatherhood. because lets face it children give you more stress than anything else you will ever experience . anyway we are all felling hopefull that this will be our month heck one of them has to be .

anyway thanks for reading i have to go put my babies to bed they have school tomorrow .. can you hear the cheering going on in my head ?