And the wait goes on

I ams ure the wait was never this hard when i was trying for my own children , I thought it would be ok as i have a 2 year old to keep my busy but it doesn't seem to be working out that way .

I am obsessing over the fact that i have been feeling slightly sick the last few days and tired like you wouldn't believe, there is probvably an explanation for it . it could be somehting to do with the fact I am drinking decaf coffee most of the time now , in fact it probably is .

couldn't down to test day is well and truely on . I have order some tests off a website so hopefully they will take a couple days to arrive . Steve is just as bad as me though he wanted to buy a test while we were at tesco's last night so i could test tomorrow morning . I really want to try and hold out at least until monday if not wednesday .

Evelina is keen for me to rest early but i have told her i'm not going to It would be too disappointing to get a negative just because it is too early to detect.

I have lots too keep me busy the next few days , first its the weekend so thats always hectic with 4 children in the house , and I have my oldest freind comng for lunch tuesday we have spent any time together for so long and we have so much to catch up on.

anyway thanks for reading if you are and I'll let you know how the wait continutes in due course

A great day was had by all

Saturday was a good day . It was agreement day which for those not in the know is a huge thing. One of SUK's staff comes to visit us all together to make sure we have spoken about all the very important issues things you don't even think about when you are having a baby normally. We have to discuss in advance what tests we will have , what we will do if anything wrong aswell as who would take care of the baby if S&E were to die. It can be a difficult day but we have spoken about these things a lot so it was no big deal to go through them again.

another thing done at the agreement is working out expenses, again we had worked this out long ago so it wasn't anything difficult but I will take a moment here to explain abut expenses to those who don't already know. The law says that IP's are allowed to give their surrogates money to cover their expenses , this is in no way payment for the baby but just money so that I am not out of pocket , things like money for extra food, maternity clothes, child care while I am at appointments, the idea is that me and my family shouldn't have to go without at all because I am pregnant and the expenses just cover that. What I did was make a document estimating everything I would need and costing it fully that way S&E know exactly what I want the money for . Obviously if anything happens and I need bedrest or a hospitable stay my expenses would increase and S&E have to agree to cover that. Really its nothing that they wouldn't spend if they weren't pregnant for themselves.

it feels so good to have the agreement done . Its official now ( though its nothing legal nothing about surrogacy has any legal standing)

well after that was done we had lunch bbq pork , salad and new potatoes yummy .

the afternoon was spent bowling ... The one thing we have found that entertains everyone from 2 years old to 40 . Steve won , Stefan came second and me third .... ME 3rd !!!!!! Took lots of photos I may share one or two with you when I work out how to put them on here .

then it was time for S&E to get back to the coach station so a taxi was called as we took soooo long bowling . The whizzed off in the taxi and we caught the bus home and ate the strawberries and cream we had forgotten about at lunchtime .

anybody out there got a time travel machine ???

and can I borrow it ?

two days in and I am already driving myself crazy and I'm not even looking for symptoms yet . Its 9.30 am and I have already tidied my 11 year olds bedroom and thats just never done by me!!!

I may well have to break out some paint and do some decorating , there are a few rooms that need doing But I may save that for next month if this one doesn't work . I heck I hope this one works not sure I can keep myself sain if it takes too long.

well what does that mean ???

I have realized I will be using a lot of abreviations in this blog so figure its a good idea to explain them all in one place.

SUK - surrogacy UK the organaztion that I belong to and the best one in the UK
IP - intended parents
IM - intended mother
IF- intended father
GT - get together - suk meet up
2WW - two week wait , the time between insems and your periods due date
Insems - home inseminations
PIP's - potential IP's

thats all i can think of right now but I'll add to this list as I need to .

A little history

I have always thought since I was 17 that surrogacy is something I could do. Its been there in the back of my mind for so many years then last summer It dawned on me that I don't want anymore babies but I love being pregnant and wasn't ready to never be pregnant again.... Maybe this was the time to fulfill a dream of mine . I thought about it read lots and thought some more . Got in touch with a great organization called surrogacy UK who sent me an information pack . A few days later on a journey that I knew would take an hour I asked Steve how he felt about it . Luckily and not totally to my surprise he was happy for me to go ahead .. Obviously he asked lots of questions and we talked for about 6 hours that day.

A few weeks later SUK were holding their agm and get together what a chance to find out more and meet the people involved so wee booked to attend . It was at that GT that we met S&E for the first time very briefly but it was enough for me to realize they were nice people .

I was originally intending to do Host surrogacy - that's where the IP's sperm and egg are fertilized via IVF and then implanted to me but at the GT having spoken to other surrogates I came around to thinking that I could do straight surrogacy- that's where we use my egg , his sperm and do home inseminations. If I could get my head around that fact that its just my egg not my baby it would be so much the easier option . I may want to help someone have a baby but I'm not crazy when I found out what IVF involved I was sure straight was the way to go.

a few short weeks later we had a mediation session in our own home with carol , one of the founders of SUK, she talked us through everything and made sure we were mentally prepared then it was just a case of STD tests and police checks and we were gold members . ready to find a couple and get started.

when we looked at the list of IP's S&E were the only ones we had met and Remembering they had seemed nice and after reading of everything they had been through in there quest to have a baby I decided that I wanted to get to know them better.

SUK isn't a matching service it relies strongly on friendship and says that you need to take at least 3 month before you decide if the couple are right for you. 3 months seemed like such a long time back then . The first time we met I knew that someday soon I would be trying to give them a baby.

as it is 6 , nearly 7 months on and it feels like I am ready . I haven't been ready sooner but our friendship is so good now that I know no matter what happens that friendship will remain for life and that is, by far, the most important thing in this they are my friends , my husbands friends my children think they are great and the feeling is mutual. Whatever happens for here on in we can handle it

And so we begin ....

After a long time getting to know each other S, E and I have decided its time to start our surrogacy , I have been charting my cycles for several months so easily predicted when I was going to ovulate this month and that just happened to be yesterday . So last night DH and I left our children with a sitter and made the trip to London . It wasn't the best thing to happen but it was far from the worst and despite a little embarrassment it went well. Afterwards we went out for a meal and spent a really pleasurable evening together before came home to relieve the sitter.

so I am officially in my first 2 week wait ... With not only my own disappointment to deal with if in doesn't work but theirs Also . I know I am able to fulfill their biggest wish and make their dreams come true I just hope it doesn't take too long to happen