Its that time again ...

we are once again in the 2ww , lets us all pray it passes quickly and ends with the right result.

actually insems were ok this month , because my cycle was screwy last month insems happened at the weekend which made for a much more relaxed affair , S&E arrived late Friday night and we ate before we did the necessary they left for their hotel and I went to bed, how much more relaxed could I possibly get?

then yesterday I took them to our local beach and we chilled out all day with the kids , ate ice cream , fish and chips and spent money in the amusements, came home chilled a bit more before we did another insem , they left a bit later and i had a relatively early night to make up for the late one the night before (I'm not good when sleep deprived)

another thing different is that I have started taking Ovulex , it was recommended to me so we are giving it a try , I'll let you know if it works but cross everything for us because we are going to be involving dr's and clinics soon and If I can get pg before that it will be a lot less stressful

anyone want to take bets on what day I'll test ? today is day 14 and I have a pg test all ready upstairs , if I make it past day 25 without testing it will be a miracle.

ready steady .....

we are getting ready for our next set of insems , they should be happening in the later part of this week possibly the weekend , but that could all be messed up because of my screwy cycle last month .

We went to visit the Ip's last Saturday and had a nice day E's father was visiting and we got on the best we could with a language barrier , we went to portabello road to the market , Its good to say I've been but wouldn't really want to go again , esspecially not with a 3 year old in tow .

I have given E the go ahead to find a clinic that will deal with us for the IUI I don't mind traveling to London its all in a good cause so the sooner we get this moving the better .

It was just late :(

so it hasn't worked this month either , I think i have lost count of the tries now .

I don't know what I am doing wrong maybe i just can't have anymore babies - no i don't really believe that but these things do tend to pop into ones mind now and again when I'm not expecting them. I am going to see the dr abut something else this week so I might mention this to him and see if he has any advice - I would even take clomid now if he would prescribe it I really want to get pregnant and I am fed up with waiting and putting my life on hold .

do you realized I can't even plan a holiday - see we need to allow at least a year so that we can afford to pay for it , save the spending money and buy the clothes , I can't plan that far in advance in case i get pregnant in the next few months . and I am really getting desperate for a holiday , nothing fancy just different scenery . Steve has time off next July so I may just try and book something for then and put surrogacy on hold for the few crucial months .

I guess what is becoming apparent to me is how much this impacts on my life , and I either have to live with it or give up and that would mean letting go of a dream I have had since i was 16 I'm not sure any holiday is worth that !

just to let you all know where we are at

we'll insems happened 16 days ago and as of today my period is officially late which would be great news but as I have now taken 4 pregnancy tests and each and every one of them has been negative I am just looking at it as a pain in the behind . My period is never late - I am lucky enough to be one of these if its not here by lunchtime on the day its due its late women , so I am really not sure what is happening with me. I guess only time will tell but its a pain when if I'm not pregnant all I want to do is start planning the next set of insems.


In other news it has become apparent to us all that things are taking a bit longer to happen than we were hoping so we are starting to think about the next step and for us that could be IUI . basically insems at a clinic , they monitor ovulation and put his boys right into the cervix rather than just outside so that may give us a better chance of success. I am up for anything right now . I just wish this stupid body of mine would behave itself .

so this is me signing off I'll let you know more as and when I have any news , or even if I just want to get anything off my chest because this thing is beginning to bug me , I sometimes wish I would have stuck to host - were you all aware I came into surrogacy wanting to do host but got my head around straight and realized life would be easier without artificial hormones LOL

anyway thanks for reading
Jane - surrogate mum to be hopefully someday before I die