It was just late :(

so it hasn't worked this month either , I think i have lost count of the tries now .

I don't know what I am doing wrong maybe i just can't have anymore babies - no i don't really believe that but these things do tend to pop into ones mind now and again when I'm not expecting them. I am going to see the dr abut something else this week so I might mention this to him and see if he has any advice - I would even take clomid now if he would prescribe it I really want to get pregnant and I am fed up with waiting and putting my life on hold .

do you realized I can't even plan a holiday - see we need to allow at least a year so that we can afford to pay for it , save the spending money and buy the clothes , I can't plan that far in advance in case i get pregnant in the next few months . and I am really getting desperate for a holiday , nothing fancy just different scenery . Steve has time off next July so I may just try and book something for then and put surrogacy on hold for the few crucial months .

I guess what is becoming apparent to me is how much this impacts on my life , and I either have to live with it or give up and that would mean letting go of a dream I have had since i was 16 I'm not sure any holiday is worth that !