month 3 here we come

well my period arrived early on staurday so I didn't need to waste another test . I think I could possibly have been more gutted than S&E. anyway the countdown is on to the next insems.

I hate pregnancy tests !!!!

Ok with just a few more days to wait I caved and tested already , it was negative which has really got me down as I am feeling so out of the ordinary this month I was sure it had worked ( get used to that you'll hear it a lot over the coming months) so sure in fact I am now saying its the tests that are no good , they were only cheap ones from asda so I'll wait until sunday and test again just incase.

see if you had to go and see your dr to get a pregnancy test I wouldn't have gotten talked into testing early , probably too early , I would be sat here with my hopes high thinking its just a matter of waiting until it was time to see the dr. adn heck with all these tests on the market that promise results upto 5 days before a missed period is it any wonder that suckers like me go and test 3 days early just incase I get a + already .

anyway all think + for me just incase

Reality Check

I received some bad news today which has made me really stop and think.

One of our experience surrogates who was nearly 6 weeks pregnant has lost the baby . My heart goes out to hear and her IP's.

It has made me realize though that in the world of surrogacy we announce our much wanted and waited for pregnancies as soon as we get that + result without any thought as to if its a good idea or not . We are so caught up in fulfilling dreams that we don't spare any thought for what may go wrong .

I am in no means saying that these people have done anything wrong , Pregnancy is a very exciting time in normal circumstances but when its has been very much waited for , and is the last chance you have to be a parent I know you would feel like shouting it from the rooftops with a megaphone and there is nothing wrong with feeling like that so to tell the friends who have been there with you and understand your excitement is perfectly normal .

It has just made me aware that these pregnancies may be miracles but they are no different to normal pregancies and carry the same risks.

if you have a moment can you please spare a thought for these wonderful people who came so close to having there dreams become a reality only to loose it. And for the surrogate who had to break such terrible news to such wonderful friends.

step up for round 2

well here we go again , another insem's done and its onto the wait. once again i am going to try and stay relaxed about it and not hope too hard but I am expecting to fail miserably again.

just had a wonderful weekend in the lake district with SUK , S&E were there of course and it was great spending time together, we didn't have the children with us so that made it really relaxing for me lots of time spent chatting and socialising instead of running around after children , not that I actually have to do much running around at these things becasue there are so many people willing to do that for me .

the accomodaion was a bit of a nightmare , we have been using youth hostles for the main GT's and some are great but this one was awful, the rooms were dirty, my bed was under a very sloping ceiling so much so we had to put the matteress on the floor and the food was awful, its a very good job the wonderful view of lake windemere and the fantastic company made up for it.

there were lots of new people we haveb't met before and as usual theyw ere all made to feel welcome and it always makes things more interesting when you have new people as they are the ones who ask the questions and it great to answer them and see people becoming much better informed and educated and more sure in their dessisions. Surrogacy is still seen as a slightly taboo subject and while at SUK we do everything we can to make it more socially acceptable and widely talked about its is a long road and l;ots of new people seem relieved that we are all so normal and open about what we do. we couldn't do it if we were embarressed or ashamed and that shows clearly and puts people as their ease.

anyway enough waffle from me for one day ..hey its my birthday today so i am off to enjoy the rest of the day .
catch you soon

not this month

well a bit of dissapointment this month but not too much as I wasn't expecting it to work first time . I tested on the morning my period was due and it was negative so I called Eveline and told her . she seemed Ok though I think she may have been slightly more dissapointed than me .

so it onwards and upwards planning for the next set of insems in 2 weeks time