6 weeks

well 6 weeks and 1 day to be exact.

we went to a lovely SUK social yesterday at one of the members homes in ross on wye, and even though the rest of the country seemed to have torrential rain we had a lovely day , a few small showers nothing heavy enough to send everyone rushing inside , get the kids of the trampoline or even stop the barbecue.

It was great to see everyone for the first time since our + it was great to see some of the other expectant IP's and surros, by far the best thing about being a pregnant surro is the hope you give to Ip' s who have yet to find a surrogate or get pregnant, and we are defiantly an example of determination gets you there in the end .

I was put on a bit of a downer at the end of the day though when I received a text from my little sister telling me that she didn't agree with surrogacy but hopes it turns out ok.

I actually reacted really badly , why couldn't she mention her concerns to me to my face some time over the past 2 years why do it by text ,and to be honest telling a pregnant woman that you think their pregnancy is wrong is just wrong , it doesn't matter that its not my baby and I have no intention of keeping it it still shouldn't have been said .

there is something about surrogacy that makes everyone think they can voice their opinions without censure. and more often than not the ip's are sympathized with as they have fertility problems , the surro's partner is sympathized with for going along with it, and the surrogate is demonized , the person making the greatest sacrifice , giving something that it takes a lot of strength to give is the bad guy in all this and it sucks big time.

so basically i told her its wasn't any of her business and if she couldn't say anything nice don't say anything .

I later texted her to say sorry for being to touchy and that we should chat sometime about her issues, because lets face it their not my issues and she doesn't have to agree with it or think what i am doing is right but I would really appreciate it if she could keep her negative comments to herself and not pass on her close minded views to anyone else.

woohoo we made is past 5 weeks !!!!

now that may sound Like a stupid stupid reason to get so excited but i was such a wreck yesterday because we lost the last one at exactly 5 weeks so to go even 1 day past has bought me some relief.I am still not compleatly relaxed about it , there is along way to go and anything can happen as we have seen so much lately here .

as for symptoms , I am dead on my feet by 3pm every day , finn and I usually snuggle on the sofa at about 2 and have a nap which is great and keeps me going till bedtime.

the nausea is really starting to kick in , I can't really eat anything sweet . and eating within an hour of gettig up is out of the question. so long as I avoid those things I am fine , the only problem is I am a chocoholic so when I am offered chocolate I find it really hard to say No . I ate half a mini chocolate chip muffin at a friends house friday and felt ill for the rest of the afternoon . luckily with all of my pregnancy's I have never been so sick i was vomiting ,so i hope this one is the same.

E has been with her mum in vienna since wednesday and she told her last night while they were celebrating her mums birthday . E has said that her face was a picture , she is so happy and is planning her visit already !!

I am so happy to be making so many people this happy . Just continue with those sticky thoughts because I would really hate for anything bad to happen now.

4 weeks 4 days

and I'm still pregnant , yes I really am that pleased about just getting thought another 3 days. I am so worried right now that something will go wrong again . I am not letting it make me stressed there is just this niggling worry in the back of my mind that I never had before the miscarriage. Please let this time be right , there is no reason for it not to be


with that said the tests are now very positive !!! and symptoms are kicking in , I am so tired all the time , if i sit down anywhere around 2 in the afternoon you can't keep me awake , and I am ready for bed by 8 !!!

The nausea is starting , i can't drink coffee first thing in the morning any more ,and after cooking dinner last night i didn't feel up to eating it , I managed to force a bit down and then went' and made myself a ham salad roll instead . I am hoping it doesn't get too bad ,I have never had sickness so bad I've thrown up but it was pretty bad with Finn all day every day until 26 weeks . the other 3 were fine just a little bit in the morning easily rectified by toast and tea , I had it so easy LOL

E is telling her Mum and Dad I wish i could be a fly on the wall , I can only guess what the emotion in that room will be like , I guess I have only just relaized how many lives I am affecting , not just S & E but their parents will get their first grandchild too .

thoughts like that really aren't good for a hormonal pregant woman to have . I am going now before I start to cry .... again !!!

4 weeks 1 day

we had a fantastic day yesterday , Stef and Eve came down to visit for the day , seeing them was wonderful , just what I needed. they are so thrilled , they couldn't stop grinning all day .

I gave them the test sticks that I have done so far and they went down well .

we had a chilled out day , the boys and danni went to lazer quest while E and I did a little bit of window shopping with finn. lazer quest doesn't take long enough . we had tapas for lunch which was OK, we won't be going back to the same place again , we were the only people in their( bad sign but we were already in there before we realized ) and the service was terrible . some of the food was cold and most of it had been microwaved. Likes the tapas experience but next time we'll find somewhere busier

the rest of the day was spent in the park , chilling and chatting while the kids played , argued and moaned. but thats perfectly normal .

we also visited cabot tower seeing as we were in the area , the kids , me and E walked up to the top , not a good move for me because i am terrified of heights. on the way back down we had to pass people on the narrow stairway and I mentaly added it as an activity not to do when heavily pregnant ! we really wouldn't have fitted LOL

I have started keeping a nte of expences , our shopoing bill cost an extra £30 this week becasue we bought more organic produce , last night I was too exhausted to cook by the time we got home so we ordered a takeaway, I am starting to see how expences add up !!

day 12 .....

and its still positive , and more positive that it was on day 10 or 11 :) yes I am spending a fortune of pregnancy tests but I just want to make sure all is still well.



see I have this theory that last time there was something not right from the very beginning , I didn't get a + on day 10 , only got a very faint + on day 13 . then when i tested on day 15 it was with the digital test so i couldn't see if the line was lighter or darker , if it had been a normal test it may have been faint and given us some clue that everything wasn't right and we could have been slightly more cautious about getting excited.



that said this time the line is already darker than it was with the last + so I have no reason to think anything will go wrong this time . I am still just a little nervous though there are no guarantees with this pregnancy lark are there .



that said i am starting to feel pg ,I have been exhausted, My boobs have a mind of their own , and I just feel a little off colour , I wouldn't say sickness or even iffy just not quiet 100%.

day 10 of the 2ww and

we have a very faint positive !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe it I am in total shock , i was expecting just another negative the same as always !
only tested today becasue if it was neg I would still have hope becasue only 50% of pregnant women get + on day 10 but there it was a line that i could see , and dh could see and just to make sure the kids could see it too !!!!!

S&E are thrilled , I don't think I have ever heard E speachless before I thought she was goingt o hyperventilate :)

I am praying but at the same time a little worried , I hope everything goes right this time . so I need all the sticky embryo vibes you can muster please .

I'll be back tomorrow with more news hopefully of a darker line !!

only day 8 !!!!

omg will the waiting never end , I am itching to test for no reason other than I want to know already !!!!

we had a fab day on Sunday visited S&E in London and spent the day wandering around Hyde park , went to the Diana memorial playground and the fountain which was great fun for the kids and gave us a chance to just chill for a little while .

My kiddies enjoying the ice cold water on their feet

we went to a great Greek restaurant for lunch , it was called halepi , nothing much to look at but the food was ace , the atmosphere was very friendly , and the staff were very helpful. defiantly go if you get a chance.

in other surrogacy news , another couple that we know have just announced that their surrogate is pregnant and I am thrilled for them , they have been trying to get pregnant for 6 years so it just goes to show that perseverance does pay off in the end . you'll get there if you don't give up .

with that said I will leave you all to wish the next couple of days away for me . all thin positive I want to join the other 4 surrogates due jan/feb next year !!!

playing the waiting game again

yep we are once again in the 2ww and praying that it works , actually i am pretty laid back about it this month . Insems went well and were done a little differently to normal after taking some advice from another surrogate. so we will see if it works or not .

we are moving on the iui front , have found a clinic who are willing to treat us and I am just waiting to hear when our consultation appointment is going to be , sometime in the next 2 weeks or so .


I have just heard today that another surrogate and Ip's have just found out they are pregnant , they like us have been trying for a long time and turned to IUI , its there 3rd IUI cycle I think. It just goes to show that perseverance can pay off. I am so thrilled for them they really reserve a happy ever after.

In fact after a bit of a quiet few months at SUK things are hotting up again there are now 5 babies on their way , one in July , one is Sept two in January and one (so far ) in February I am hoping to join that list with at least one other soon.