well I am gutted ,I tested this morning and got a negative , I was really hopeful this month but alas its not to be.
I am really starting to feel the strain now , I need someone to egg me on and tell me we'll get there. each month that it fails I am startig to fell less and less like I am going to actually be a surrogate , what if i never get pregnant again !!
I guess this is where I should call my support worker but I don't knowif i can be bothered to sit a listen to someone telling me It will be ok and we'll get there in the end . its been 18 bloody month I want this to happen already , if i had worked month one the baby would be due soon , if I hadn't misscarried we'd be telling the world now !!
and thats something else that has bought me down this week , anotehr surrogate has announced that they are 3 months pregnant i am happy for them but it should have been us telling all this month and whats more when their baby is born it will be the same feeling all over again.
sorry I have nothing positve to report and this is such a sdown post bt thats how i feel right now .
catch you all again when i have something exciting to say or just need to whne some more
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4 comments:
Anna I am so sorry I click the wrong link and rejected your comment by mistake . please forgive me .
your well wishes are gratefully recieved
Jane
It's ok honni.
Basically I wanted to say that I am so sorry it wasn't your month. I know it has been a long journey for you all (you and S&E) but you will get there. I am still in total awe of you all and wish you all the luck in the next cycle.
Hugs
Anna
If i were in that game, i certainly would give it up by now,you have done enough for them, it seems that it is not going to happen after all this trying you have done *hugs*admit defeat
hey anonymous why not leave your name next time ??
in responce to that can I say that we actually haven't been trying all this time , we had a positive test that later miscarried so I know it can happen it just a case of trying again.
I will be the first to admit i was feeling like this would never happen before i got the positive test in december but now I know it will happen i just have to keep trying .
we have been in this thing since december 2005 and I am not the kind of person to give up when things get a little tought , this nine months may seem like a long time but I tried for my son for a year before I got pg and wouldn't have dreamed of stopping tryng even then. they have been hoping for this for over 10 years so if i have to talke a few more months out of my life to do this then so what . you have to have some special qualities to be a surrogate and I suppose one of those is determination !!!
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